Grudge Match: A Major Discrepancy and Other Bitz

Sorry for the delay in posting. My oh-so-esteemed cohort has been holding of on posts until I wrote up my battle report, and I've been writing college papers. How irresponsible of me. As it's been a few weeks, I don't remember a point-by-point synopsis of the game (Frank and I agreed to take better notes next time). As such, I'm just going to provide a little color commentary, and assume Frank got most of the details right.

Except One. F***ing. Thing.

I din't lose.

Because it was a Grudge Match, and we play so infrequently, we did decide to play on past the random game length. But in the immutable (ha!) rules of Warhammer 40,000, the match was a draw, and Lion El'Jonson's name was not sullied by defeat.

Warhammer 40k Wiki

Jeez, bro. I get the whole 'lion' theme, but could you look less wolfy? For me?

Another important note: I freakin' suck at 40k. I've always had an issue with assuming my opponent cannot move his guys. I sent my Raider hard to the right of the central objective on turn one, because I wanted to get behind Frank's Raider and eff up his line. He, of course, backed it up and poured hot, furry death down the front of my inexcusably hideous shirt. An artist's rendering of what that might look like can be found here. Sorry. Don't click that link. It's a bad joke, and I bet you all saw it coming. Sorry.

A third, yet equally important note: I cheated. The whole time. Not with dice. Not even with my units. Or Frank's units. But with this guy:

You guys remember Inquisitor? Me neither.

See, I cleverly decided that the far right point would be the money point. Frank's deployment gave only token attention to the far left point, and I figured his commitment to the center of the board would be overwhelming. I wanted that right point, though, and I thought I could cut down his Rune Priest and hold it. But I was going to need a little help. So whenever Frank was making waffles, looking up rules, or chewing on his tail, I was inching this statue forward. Bit by bit, turn by turn, he eventually made it all the way across the board to provide vital cover for my flanking squad. It was awesome.

I'm tempted to say that it didn't help, but that point was crucial to securing the draw before being bullied into playing extra turns. Which, by the way: bullcrap. Yeah, extra turns against Space Wolves. That's super fair. Super, duper, dooper fair. Frank is such a bastard.

Anyways, that's all for now. This was our first battle report, and we had an absolute blast playing. That said, the next one will be better organized. We'll figure it out, scout's honor. Next post: Necrons!

He later declared that he has no friends because he smells like a butt.